Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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