How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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