"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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