it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just want nice things and good sex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
