you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
