somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
