Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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