grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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