she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
