I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she peed on how many people?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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