I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
from now on my penis is your penis
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
