i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
