I just cut my nipple shaving
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
