She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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