Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
