I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
