i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
