Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
