I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
