9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
