This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The best revenge is premature balding
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
