oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
