someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
