Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
