Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
