is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
