so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
