That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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