It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
