You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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