I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
