Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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