i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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