p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
