Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
