this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
