My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
