You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
