She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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