Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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