5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
