you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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