i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
