party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
