You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
