Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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