Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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