it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
