fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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