now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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