thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
